“You’ve changed”

My husband tells me I’ve changed and grown a lot since our early marriage. That’s great, but I don’t like when there’s no way of measuring intangibles. This weekend’s trip to Las Vegas gave me that needed measurement. Let me explain. 

It’s our first time back since 2005- other than making connected flights. Back when we were a brand new couple, we stopped for a night or two. I was excited to see the sights, shows, walk the busy streets and make the most of our short stay. I grew up in a big, flashy city after all, so the idea of being out and about was quite appealing. Relaxing in the hotel room other than for sleep was not my idea of a good time. I also had a restless spirit. 

Now, walking about, I look around and feel zero interest in anything except good food, then hurry back to our room as quickly as possible. The enjoyment and soul saturation I crave will never be found out there. I am content to receive the gift of an entire day resting and relaxing from all the normal demands and routine. (Thanks to our amazing support system, our kids are well cared for back home.) 

My cup has been measured and is full- not by the identifying titles or things I value like being a mother, helpful wife, doing and achieving- but because I can enjoy sitting here, breathing in the goodness of God. I can look back and see the road He has taken me- the road that’s brought me to this season. I’m not anxious for the same things I used to be. I’m not waiting for excitement to happen or some winning token of satisfaction. 

There are so many people my age and up sitting at the slot machines, staring and waiting to see what lucky thing will come to them. I’m thankful there is great reward in aging itself- to be able to wisely look back and see the benefits of walking through the twists and turns of life.

“…we spend our years as a tale that is told” Psa. 90:9b What does your life story tell? How do you express it? Can you too measure some growth that has taken place the past several years?