let God be God

I've been mulling over this thought as my kids returned home after their month away: 

Who are you if something that defines you is stripped away or simply removed from your life? 

For the month of June, I was mother only from a distance, but I've been a SAHM for over 14 years now. That part of my identity was set aside on purpose due to hubby's treatment protocol, and it jolted me a bit, even though I was mentally prepared. 

In a very minuscule way, my kid's absence gave me perspective to the response of Mrs. Job in the Bible. She was traumatized, jolted, dumbfounded, perplexed, all of that when one thing after the next stripped her of not only her and Job's wealth, but especially the loss of their children. Her identity as mother was gone. Her purpose, gone. Her gifting, gone. Her loves, gone. Her hopes and dreams, trashed. How do you cope when the thing that you are, the thing that defines you so much, that adds meaning to life is deliberately swept away? It could be health, wealth, people, career, family status, you name it. 

"Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!" she cried in exasperation. 

Yet this is the same woman who birthed ten more children down the road when all was said and done. Job didn't have his next three daughters (chapter 42, the fairest in the land) all by himself! The raw and heavy emotions eventually gave way to new life, new identity, new responsibility, new hope and a fruitful future. 

So what is it that prepares you for hard times; times that are strong enough to strip you of well-lived, well-absorbed identity roles? If I've learned anything this past year walking through my husband's cancer journey, it's that having an established and strong relationship with the living Savior has everything to do with it. Jesus saves and Jesus also holds fast. There is never a time to curse God. But if we do cry out in exasperation, he can totally handle it. Then, like Mr. & Mrs. Job, walk or stumble into the next chapter and let God be God.